DOROTHEA LASKY
The Fall
No one ever saw me fall
But then no one ever saw me at all
You told me something that was very hard to say
And that I appreciate
So I sat on the ground for nine hours
And thought about you
I don't really care who you are
I love things without being able to name them
That is my way
And when I was on the ground
I was motherless
But no no not starless
The star was in me
Because that is what I am
A star
Oh no that is not what I am
But I call myself that
Because it is too hard to figure out what I am
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Black life
You are born and it is to a black life
Full of abuse and strange things
Monsters come up to you as soon as you enter
Mouths asunder and fingers thrashing
Dark purple monsters that are so full of blood
They are a darkish bluish red
You grow and it is to a black life
That you consider
All around you is death and atheism
All around you are people who have misinterpreted science
For their own gain
There are nuns, but they are the nuns of the air
You die and it is from a black life
That you die from
You leave this one and go into the next
Where nothingness surrounds and evaporates
With the ease of something
That has done this sort of thing before
I leave and I am a black life
I leave you cause you didn't need me after all
And I want to
Be what you made me to be
But you never really made me
This life made me
This thing that I am
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The Void
Conrad said not to be afraid of the void
Well, I was never afraid of the void, I was afraid of myself
Part of me is as evil as they come
The darkest spot in the nightsky.
Stare at that dark spot. That is me.
Not the moon, gentle and milky, pouring
Light into the daytime
And the daytime sun, so strong and wise
Jellyfish all around, I heard the soft and subtle sounds
Of things moving within the sea
Dancers, with their beautiful movements
Were like purple flowers
Not enough is said of the movements of them
That are so strong, they become every heartache you ever had
I do not move with my body, but my head
It is quite evil the way I turn so, and twist my thoughts
Around another for no purpose other than my own gain
What of the souls I have taken with my mind,
Never to be wholly pure again
Freud says a woman is most mature when she moves inside her body
I move not in my body, but my head
When you take my body, Lord
You take my mind, too
Moon mind that pours white lights into the ether
For no purpose other than to talk
Talk with me bodies. Open your mouths
Like plastic things I put upon me to adorn.
You are purple flowers, hearts open to the sun
Turning and twisting in the wind so carelessly
You turn your head towards the warmest stars in the heavens.
The wind swallows you, head
But it never swallows you whole.