I CAME TO YOU AND DIDN'T LOVE YOU AND THEN YOU CRIED CUZ I WAS DEAD
The return of that person referred to as Nadja
whose return author made / tried / bind
by ending the book / also a fibrous beast
a fibrous breast / banshee /whose many spines
leak off many shelves / do they not / replicate?
The return of that person sane or otherwise, author,
the return of that person having aged as whites do
yellowing whites, teeth / smell of bandage, her face /
A mercy the return of that person previously
dissected for her juice. Who was preserved in juice.
Damp and salty / wet ash seeps out the eye
a nightmare is a hole in the membrane
of an otherwise discreet fellow. A nightmare
is to look at the night and see things. A night
the dark, an overripe sky / about to cream its seeds
what does it knock you up with? / what happens next
a seed in your throat expands to press your vocal chords
so tightly one to another that vibration cannot occur.
You cannot reverberate. / A person referred to
the belief that every day must include pain.
The night is cold and greasy. A skin forms where
the night should be. A mare runs, her greasy
milk leaks from her gel foal and her milk
ferments and her milk becomes a medicine
for your Marxist hard on. Someone rubs it there.
That’s you. You’re stroking your means.
Because I came to you and did not love you and
I came back to you and loved you not
and I came again, all at a gallop.
You cried cuz I was dead / and then was not.
+++
WHITE BODIES LEAVE LIT PAIN, THAT IS UNSAVORY HEAT OF WHICH I AM ONE SUCH FAILED GLOBE.
I can't take you with me.
The belief that every day must include pain.
The belief that every day must include pain.
The belief that every day must include pain.
I can't take you with me, over there, I can't /
dishonest / belief. But I do. Am I a mother
who loves your mewling / mouthing / creep
into bed and put your hands somewhere
unplayable. What bodies you've seen
thru gauze stuffing, gluey
white bread / white body knowing its name
is skin / not pain as though / everyday
I cannot take you with me. The belief /
pain erodes your name not your face.
+++
THEY PUT A BRACKET ON MY WRIST A PLASTIC CUFF AND SAID READ IT BACKWARD IS IT YOU? SO IT WAS AND IT WASN'T.
How could I know / I was
the other woman and took form
in white
in white relationship to ambition, carbon,
the
the primary her other white her,
scale monstrous / an ocean of hate,
a hinge unscrewed or screwed
wrong. I was death's other option / paste
I mean to say: I was froth to death.
I was yellow sap a step back from
the dx / wrist stropping snuff tuff
films of a history in which we trade
for a gummy spread / a life, two deaths,
four deaths, you know how fathers go.
Everyone / I got in the way because I was
hospital!clumsy! And I had lost some blood,
the littlest one asked me what's through
that door / what's with you? I asked
and I had to laugh a laugh / slivers!
slivers and art! but it was just
teeth / who didn't like you /
all that sticky much.
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